SORRIE!! I'M LATE FOR MONTHS!!

Hihi ppl.. actually want to do hw de.. but end up tagging blogging etc.. finally can start to blog le.. after doing so many activation of died account.. and refreshing my forgotten passwords.. mm.. dunno where to start from.. if continue from the last post then my post can go join Guiness World Record.. the longest post ever!! hahax.. actually dec should update de.. then now then use comp.. really blue moon le.. i really feel bad.. cos see my tag board still got ppl tag.. haax.. my fans club.. so wei le bu yao gu fu them.. i post! for the popular demand.. (and dun laugh at me le can.. gr..)

mm... i think band is the most imp thing to me currently cos exams are over.. syf coming.. was veri veri sad last few weeks.. cry almost everi day.. cos mr png told ms wee i cannot make it 2 weeks ago.. want change me.. tat time really veri helpless.. dunno wat to do except to cry.. really got so bad meh.. i ask myself.. but maybe really got tat bad ba.. tat day ms wee talked to me and py.. ask whether i wanna continue to play or give up timpani to let py play.. how the hell am i suppose to answer.. she told me i should insist in playing.. but should kana te kang by mr png like siao.. than she say its ok for me to cry but cry le jiu over and she think tat i can play de.. i did a lot of thinking.. should i really insist? or giving up is better for the band.. so i zhou yi bu suan yi bu.. if dun give up then pull the band down how? then give up le all the effort will go down the drain.. tat day went home alone.. then surprisingly out of the blue i saw ren jie.. he always managed to appear whenever i very down.. then later jiu talk crap.. -.-

the following friday.. which was the school freaking anniversary.. the nite before received a msg from theresa.. at 1st didnt know wat she meant.. but after she told me the msg was from mr lum i broke down. he ask theresa to send me this.

'help me tell samantha tat my 4 gfs at home hope tat she'll cheer up soon :)' make no difference to u reading eh? but i am crying in front of the comp now. same reaction as tat time.. it was one of the most touching and encouraging thing tat any1 said to me.. i hope u are reading mr lum.. thx.. then i reply him saying thx and stuff.. he replied back.

'No prob. i hope you pull yourself together fast too. Perform well today! (refering to the sch anniversary thing)' omg.. this had a greater impact.. then i apologised for not meeting their expectations blar..

'Don't have to always live up to our expectations. Just do your very best! Put your heart and soul into it. Trust yourself.' touching? i seriously think tat it was soo touching.. maybe tats why his gf fall for him.. BUT i never fall for him.. state first..

too bad.. tat day i still didnt perform well.. the practice before performance still kana scolded.. haix..

the next day. sat. debbie called me in the morning.. and warned me not to cry.. then say if i cry have to give her one thousand dollars.. wth.. cheng huo da jie.. but tat day even worst.. suddenly dunno how to play tempo primo.. made png so angry.. then ask lum take me out of the hall to teach me.. py took over.. i almost wanted to cry.. eyes kept flooding.. but held back.. (partly dun want pay one thousand dollars).. i dun blame pow pow.. but was really very sad.. u imagine la.. if u were me also veri sad de ma..

then tat day after band lum msg me again.. tempt me to cry.. i'll just write wat he say.. cos i dun really rmb wat i replied..

'We (png and lum) know you've tried very hard. But this stretch i need you to push on more. 1 more week to stabilize that part, prac hard, feel the accents. i'm sure as much as we're reluctant to replace you, you're as reluctant to be replaced. Do your best! Don't let yourself down, and you'll be fine :)'

'Don't say sorry so soon. 1 more week! Prove yourself. You can. 1 more week is all you have and all you need. I'm determined not to switch players and so should you.' then i ask if mr png is angry and help me say sorry..

'Haha. He' s not angry la. Really. He's as unwilling as i am to switch player for timpani.' goodness.. i guess he went thru all this before.. tats why he knew all the right thing to say to a person tat is so sad over band..

i guess this is really getting longer.. and i think i will post abt the band camp in a different post.. i cant believe it.. i am using a windows 98 in year 2007.. no wonder the 7th night sound so.. adagio.. (did i guessed the spelling right?)

OMG!! I UPDATED MY BLOG DUDES!!

hahax! so long neva update realli duno wat to sae.. doing project now.. so can eat a little snake.. hahax!! holies seemed to be so long yet so short.. the fully pack schedule DEPRIVED me of my favorite activity.. GREAT S'PORE SALES!! Gr.. darn it.. all becos of tat annual sch public performance.. who is to be blamed! WHO IS TO BLAME! hahax.. nvm larx.. btw, the concert was quite a success.. hees.. not forgetting my SOLO.. xie xie.. wo yao gan xie mei yi ge bang gao wo de ren.. xiao de gan ji bu jing.. hahax.. realli thx a lot.. even to those who neva read this exp mr png and lum..AND.. a round of applause to the PERCUSSIONIST OF NCWO!! whoots! clap clap clap to Jovin! Mole Joe! Abalone Pohyih! last but not least.. ME!! we worked quite hard for this concert.. this include moving instrument (which i participate least ;p), learning of new things etc.. but no pain no gain.. hahax.. new instruments!! thx to the seniors too (althought the percussion's seniors yi qu bu hui tou.. >.<..) many of them helped alot.. hahax.. for example yanlin.. tat encore incident.. hahax.. she was the only one shouting.. so throw face (for both her and the band.. cos nobody shout for us..) but thanks dude.. made lotsa 'new' friend this holies.. ppl like victor, jonathan,kongming, renjie (thx a GAZILLION renjie!!), gal with forever pain ankle manting and more.. knew them in the past.. but only their names.. but this holies i found out they are ppl tat are real fun! hope we can go out more often!! pool rawks! and can came back band more often.. we will always welcome u de!! haha.. have to chong hw.. gtg.. bye every1.. i will be back in another half year time.. HAHAX!!

STRESSED!!

i am feeeling veri stressed by every thing around mi!! the homework the environment and wateva!! i am veri tired.. i finalli can understand how yt and sharm sharm feel le.. the stress.. i came to update my blog not becos i am free.. its just tat mr mok want us to have a blog to do homework like newspaper article review (?? ridiculous rite?? i mean using blog??) and he said (actualli is scream) tat he will handcuff ani1 who didnt do his homework (so bian tai).. he said he will make our lives like living hell which sounds veri scary.. the worst is he said the blog post need to have PERFECT ENGLISH, no dot dot (..) allowed.. wah lao.. then i go create one more lor.. cnt use this one or else sure get scoldings.. all imperfect english.. still got han yu pin yin.. haha.. he hated chinese.. so racist.. and he second worst is the history cum form teacher i had.. wat de hell is she teaching.. i catch no ball lor.. she just read through wat was on the power point and makin things worst, some she even cant be bothered lor.. i-di-ot (pronunce separately, nicer. dunno can come ask me..) i think the history i have to study miself.. cannot rely on such a inreliable teacher.. haiz.. i sumtimes veri sian in class.. i miss all of you so much.. i hear theresa yuean sylvia say wat happen in 3H i veri xian mu.. like veri fun.. my class not fun.. maybe is my section only.. maybe is aloysius spoiling the feng shui.. dun like him.. humph.. haiz.. i think i got to do hw le.. bb everi1.. miss me de hua tml go walk towards 3F, stuck ur head through the door, scream samantha chan!! (must have chan cos got another samantha.. haha..)

sorrie everybody.. i never update veri long.. cos that stupid sister of mine kept using the comp.. ok, i shall turn time back time to thursday, 24th of november..

i woke extra early and found myself with a blood shot left eye... damn it.. why must it be todae.. i do all the thing that i should do and went to sengkang mrt to meet the others.. we were toking at a extra loud volume in the mrt and i think ppl get realli irritated.. we changed into the red line and went to orchard.. we found out tat it was already 11 and the movie begin at 11.15.. so we hurried to lido.. the tickets were only 7 bucks!! dirt cheap!! i mean cheaper than the charlie and the chocolate factory.. we went to buy popcorn and nachos which was quite expensive.. and my sis was laughing at me buying popcorn.. she claimed tat it was plain childish.. go to hell with tat silly thinking.. the movie was GREEATTTTT!! i love it!! the starting of the movie was eerie with tat voldemort's father's grave.. and the music.. the boot part was so funni.. then i was so disappointed as they did not play the whole of the quidditch game which would be quite exciting i think. the whole movie was thrreee hours long so i cant say the whole of it out.. so sad.. but i vow it was a marvellous show! my sis and i promised to share money and buy the vcd when it comes out.. it was such a waste i didnt watch the prisoner of azkaban.. think i must be nice too.. i was quite lost at the beginning as it was continued from the previous one that i missed.. i must buy tat vcd too.. AND I VOW NOT TO SIT BESIDE THERESA DURING ACTION MOVIE ANYMORE!! she was so agitated during those scenes tat are veri exciting.. she scream, shout and started jabbing and even MY sit was shaking vigorously.. i miss yanting.. at least she would not make so much noise.. come back yt! come back! and the even more silly stuff was i cried when i-forgot-what-is-his-name died.. so sad..plus factor, the cinema was extremely cold!!!

then we went east coast the blade.. we got up bus 14 i think.. we were quite unsure about getting on the right bus and kaung was saying yes yes its the right direction becos it only has one direction!! then later mi and theresa saw a bus of same number brushed by and we scream out "ni pian wo!!!" it was so funni.. we eventually got to east coast after walking miles... we rented blades and started blading.. i found out that it was the same date as our class outing.. 24th of that-month.. so qiao.. i managed to let go of my hands and started blading! big news man.. haha!

Isn't she lovely, this hollywood gal.. and they say, she's so lucky, she's a star, but she cries cries cries in the lonely heart thinking, if there's nothing messing with my life then, why do these tears come at night..

this is a song by britney, lucky, it was written to express her own feelings, she is the hollywood star, ppl says that she is veri lucky.. but no1 knows her feeling, she is veri lonely in the heart behind the fong guang de yi mian.. maybe this song indirectly describe my feelings.. behind the world of happiness.. the joyous moments.. when i am alone.. things do not go as smoothly.. things seem to be working against me..things that i hate just happen all at the same time.. but ppl do not understand me.. even from the start.. maybe there's another song by her that is dedicated to me indirectly too, stronger.. maybe.. stronger than yesterday, loneliness is killing me no more.. i need to be times strong to continue walking.. without support from ani1..

(thanks buddies.. for accompaning me..)

i realli hate to leave.. hate to leave compass heights.. this was wat i was thinkin when mi, yt and aloy were sittin on the wall.. we kind of enjoyed the nite.. away from the noise.. away from everyone.. it was jus like the beach at nite.. without anyone.. i am free of everything now.. lookin out of the window.. the sky is quiet.. the room is quiet.. i can even hear the sound of the fan spinning.. i am all alone.. but i dun feel lonely.. instead, i am living in the world of my own.. with my own rules, my our imaginating space, my own dreams.. with him.. the moon is veri sharp, is tat wat ppl call last quarter? maybe..

i heard of a story of last quarter.. its abt wat happened to a gal who met a man in a weird hse tat ppl thought was haunted.. she fell in love veri quickly within two weeks of living with him in the hse.. one dae, the man asked whether the gal want to leave wif him.. they decided to meet at a junction and leave together be4 the moon appear.. but she was too late.. he left without her.. she ran across the junction, but she was knocked down and was in coma after tat.. her spirit went back to the hse and was trap there.. she lived there all alone.. hoping tat he will come back to bring her away.. 1 dae, a gal went into the hse.. she was able to see her spirit becoz their accident happened to be on the same dae.. the gal and her fwend promised to help her to find him.. they found out tat he was a rock star 19 years ago.. but died in a accident soon after his sister died becoz of an illness.. it happen tat tat nite which he met wif the accident was a last quarter moon nite.. and the same last quarter moon will appear every 19 years.. the haunted hse was the hse that he and his sister was living.. he left to another world without her.. she was even devastated when she found out tat her last life was the sister of him.. she got all the memory of them together 19 years ago and could not believe tat he died.. she know tat she love him not only as a sister but she had to chose.. chose to continue living as the gal she was or to leave wif him to another world.. in the end, she chose to continue living and let him go.. she did not noe whether she made the rite choice.. but found out later tat her boyfriend tat she had all along was the nxt life of him..

i mean who knows.. whether we were friend, family or even lovers the last life.. wat will happen to us 19 years later, when the same moon rises.. wat happened to us 19 years ago.. when the moon was there.. at the same spot.. the moon will be the same every 19 years... but how long will we have to wait to have everything in the same place again.. happening to the same person again.. the same words spoken.. i dunno.. it seems to be hard and painful to think of this.. it seems to be difficult to think of the future.. it seems to be tough to rmb every1 everything every place.. it seems painful to love some1 and wait 4 some1 to love u...

i hope i was not there, seeing u bitch-ing wif others.. i hate u.. i realli do.. i do not wish to, but u r the one who forced me.. u made me hate the other side of u.. and i hate it to the core.. why do u have to make mi hard to breathe.. make me feel like killing u.. make me feeling to let u know my presence.. make me have to let others feel my presence.. why do u have to be perfect in front of the ****.. how do u made the others trust u and love u.. how did u managed to make every1 protect u as if u are the most precious gem on earth.. i hate to hate u.. i wish that i am one of those who love u and want to protect u.. but i cant do it.. u made me lose every thing.. my dignity, my mind, my pride, my thinking, the most important, my beloved ones.. in front of me, u told me that i am number 1.. but who knows things behind me.. i am nothing.. nothing to u.. i always have to try my best to act like nothing is going on.. i had enough of it.. i had enough of acting.. i had enough of trying to hide every thing.. i had enough of storing every thing in my heart and not able to tell any1.. i hate it.. i have never been such a bitch.. but i can hold no longer.. i cant hide my feelings any longer.. please.. let me go.. let me off.. stop all ur ****ing attitude..

dun ask me who.. i dunno either.. if u tink its u, u are wrong.